Less than 2 weeks ago, I put a call out to say, “Hey, if you want to help, here’s what I need.” I encouraged folks to tell your friends and family what they can do for you, because they want to help. My friends and family replied with a nearly overwhelming response. This bucket of 800 antibacterial wipes is a representation of the abundance of love we received. This is from one of my husband’s best friends. When I told him we needed wipes of this sort, I expected the small tub you buy at Wal-Mart, you know? But instead we received this ginormous bucket. The amount of tissues, coffee, food and love we received was unexpected. And my family’s gratitude is immeasurable. If I have not thanked you, please tell me. I probably won’t send you a thank you card, because I just don’t have that in me right now. But I’ll tell you how much I appreciate you and your generosity, and I’ll hug you tight if I have the opportunity.

I’d like to give you all an update on my husband’s health. A handful of folks already know what’s been happening this past week, but I’ve found that this blog is a simple way for me to update folks in one fell swoop.

Wal was admitted to the hospital on Monday due to an infection on his head. He’s had it for several weeks, but even after several rounds of oral antibiotics, it just got worse. The infection traveled down to his eye Monday morning, so I called an ambulance to take him to the ER. Since it had nothing to do with what he’s dying from, he could still remain on hospice. 

Since then we’ve discovered that he has a common infection (MSSA) but it went septic and into his bloodstream. They still have one more test to see if it went to his heart. The echocardiogram was inconclusive. On Thursday they scraped off dead skin, cleaned it and took a biopsy just to make sure it wasn’t cancer along with the infection. The doctors are pretty confident it’s not cancer, but they want to see if that piece of the infection of the wound is any other kind of bacteria than what they already know.

During the week, he had hallucinations for a few days again, but I think that has to do with the antibiotics. The same thing happened a few weeks ago when he was on a strong antibiotic at home. Yesterday he was awake all day and completely himself again. He’s taking insulin to get his blood sugars down to work on healing the wound.

But now there are a few more tests he must get through. An MRI to make sure the infection hasn’t spread further and an echocardiogram where they sedate him and put a tube down his throat to get a better picture of his heart to see if the infection traveled there. Often this happens when an infection goes septic, and with Wal being immunocompromised, it’s possible. This only means he’d be on antibiotics longer.

Here’s the part that’s even worse. Once Wal can come home, if the antibiotics are actually working, then he’ll remain on the IV antibiotics, and a nurse will come in 3 times a week to give us supplies and check on the picc line he’ll need for the IV at home. Because of this, he’ll lose hospice services. Then if he’s still alive once the meds are finished, we can reapply for hospice.

We had agreed to all of this, but haven’t signed anything yet. On my way home last night, I decided that I can’t let him lose hospice. Wal will still be dying when he comes home. His congestive heart failure isn’t any better. He still can only walk a few steps. How the hell am I going to care for him without any help?!?

I can’t. Or maybe I can, but I if I’m going to remain sane while my husband is still alive, then I need hospice to be involved.

So I guess today, on our 29th wedding anniversary, I start fighting for the both of us.

Wish me luck!