Experiencing hot flashes and night sweats has to be the least fun thing I’ve experienced in quite some time. I’ve been dealing with both for a few years, but now that I’m officially post-menopausal, rage has started to accompany the hot flashes. Typically, I have them at night after 7pm, but every once in a while in the middle of the day I get a hot flash with a horrible mood swing. So far I’ve been able to tamp down on my crankiness while at work, but at home? Oh my word, I can be truly awful.
Last month I went to my gynecologist, and we had a real sit-down about getting an estrogen patch or pill. We discussed the pros and cons of both meds as well as not taking them at all. Since I still have my uterus, women like me can take a combo patch that includes estrogen and progesterone. The progesterone is to reduce the risk of uterine cancer. The advantage to the patch vs the pill is that if you have digestive issues, the pill can be rough on your system for some folks and the pill can increase the likelihood of blood clots. So after the discussion, we decided on the patch. This isn’t something you’re on forever. My doctor has a plan for each woman and usually it’s a few years you’re on it to get you through this icky and stressful time.
Now here we are, FOUR WEEKS LATER, and still no patch. Why? Because the fucking insurance company keeps coming up with excuses to NOT cover the med. The one that gets me is that I’m too old. Huh?!? I am 50 and the average age of a woman who has gone into menopause is 51. So WTF?!? The insurance company has thrown it back to my doctor FOUR TIMES, with a different reason each time. If I want an antidepressant, I can get it in a day. The fact that sweating through my clothes and sheets each night or not sleeping well or having fits of RAGE is not enough for the insurance, then what the fuck is?
My doctor actually warned me that this might happen. She’s the one who said we’d have to deal with the “manarchy” and it could take some time for this to go through. Meanwhile I have called her office every week for any kind of update and gave them a synopsis of my symptoms, too, so they could put that into their notes. Obviously it didn’t help much, but I refuse to give up.
In some ways menopause feels like puberty again, at least the mood swings part. And the weight gain. At least I’m not bleeding through my pants–now I just want to rip them off because I’m sweating through them.
Friends, if you experience any of this bullshit, I am here with you and for you. If you have not or cannot, but your friends/partner/family does, please show them some empathy and give them their space. We’re just trying to survive and not hurt anyone else in the process.
Hugs to you, friends. From a distance. Because seriously, do not touch me right now.