Hope is a funny thing. It can help you sleep, allow you to smile and laugh when you didn’t think you could, and can even push you out the door and get that bit of fresh air and exercise that you so desperately need.

This has been a weekend filled with tears and stilted conversations and many, many spoken “I love you’s.” My family is scared and sad and feeling helpless and attempting to prepare for the worst….but have decided to say “Fuck this” and instead we’re hoping for the best.

My brother has been in the hospital for nearly a week. What we had hoped would be a 3-day stay with one cardiac procedure, has turned into a life or death situation that we were not expecting. My brother’s heart is an anomaly anyway, and we should have known it wanted to throw everyone a little surprise.

Through medicine, we hope the issue will be resolved and the original procedure can take place without a hitch and my big brother will be as well as he can be. This is the hope and the wish and the good thought and the prayer and the good vibe we are putting out into the universe. We expect it to be fulfilled.

So if you have control over these types of things, consider yourself put on notice.

Do NOT disappoint me.