Hope is a funny thing. It can help you sleep, allow you to smile and laugh when you didn’t think you could, and can even push you out the door and get that bit of fresh air and exercise that you so desperately need.
This has been a weekend filled with tears and stilted conversations and many, many spoken “I love you’s.” My family is scared and sad and feeling helpless and attempting to prepare for the worst….but have decided to say “Fuck this” and instead we’re hoping for the best.
My brother has been in the hospital for nearly a week. What we had hoped would be a 3-day stay with one cardiac procedure, has turned into a life or death situation that we were not expecting. My brother’s heart is an anomaly anyway, and we should have known it wanted to throw everyone a little surprise.
Through medicine, we hope the issue will be resolved and the original procedure can take place without a hitch and my big brother will be as well as he can be. This is the hope and the wish and the good thought and the prayer and the good vibe we are putting out into the universe. We expect it to be fulfilled.
So if you have control over these types of things, consider yourself put on notice.
Do NOT disappoint me.
Believe me, I’ve put it into the Universe, my mother and I have prayed day and night for him all the time, even before all this. I’ve got people praying on Facebook , one of which is very religious and shared it with her friends, so I have a major prayer circle going, and have been keeping them updated so they know exactly what to pray for to get him well and back home. So as soon as you know new information and have the time to, please keep me updated. I’ve been updated by Amber after asking on one occasion and was updated one evening by Bonnie. I’ve been depressed and worried day and night over this. I’m keeping the hope, but I can’t help how my body reacts, as you know. I’m going about my business as usual, with the plan of coming to see him once he’s home again. I am going to the movies in Augusta today with a friend and late tomorrow morning to the Colby Art Museum, but will be checking facebook every few hours , as I’ve done since he was admitted. But should you get news we don’t want to hear, please call me as soon as you’re able at 872-6585, no matter what time, day or night, as I don’t want to hear that kind of news on facebook. If I’m not at home, I’d rather you tell me on my answering machine than hear on facebook. But we aren’t going to have anything but good news from now on. I’m working hard on that. I’d never disappoint you, Love you, Pat.