good vibes

Hi, everyone. After 4 days and 3 nights in the hospital, I was able to go home yesterday after my distal pancreatectomy…and I still have my spleen!

*insert party noises here*

Does this mean I’ll always get to keep it? No. It doesn’t. When the surgeon took the tail of my pancreas, he had to cut off the main blood supply to the spleen. BUT, there are 3 smaller blood vessels still traveling to the spleen, so the hope is that they’ll be good enough. *fingers crossed*

The 3 squiggly lines are the good blood vessels and that potato thing on the right is the spleen. The dark mark that aligns the penis-looking organ is the main blood vessel. The penis-looking thing is the tail of the pancreas that is no longer in my body but in a lab somewhere being dissected and searching for what I hope is a lack of cancerous cells.

Now it’s time to heal and to understand what each weird pain I feel means. I’m still incredibly bloated from the surgery which is very uncomfortable. I have some pretty major wounds on my belly and a hole in my side that I have to keep changing bandages on…or for? I swear I’m not on any narcotics anymore, but I’m still pretty fuzzy and weak. The pain is all controlled with Tylenol and ibuprofren now. Or mostly controlled. I’m able to eat a little every few hours, but this body needs to discharge, you know what I mean?

Thank you again, for the many well wishes, prayers and good thoughts. Now we’ll just wait and see what the future brings. I raise my cup of water to all of you in gratitude and hope and good health. Cheers to you, my friends!

Tomorrow morning at 8:40am, a surgeon in Portland, Maine will be removing the tail of my pancreas along with those nasty precancerous tumors that are attached to it. He may also be removing my spleen, but we’ll keep our fingers crossed that won’t happen.

Having a distal pancreatectomy has been frightening to think about, but I’ve felt quite calm about it since yesterday. There’s nothing more I can do now, right? I have my workplace as settled as I can, I finished the password book for my family, and yesterday I ran my last 5K in what I expect to be at least 3 months.

So as they’re prepping me tomorrow, I will pretend I’m back in that sensory deprivation tank I tried out a few weeks ago at Float 207. It was really lovely. I chose the purple light and I’m so glad I did.

But after imagining this calm space, I know I’ll be thinking of my boy, my family, my friends and all the incredibly kind words and thoughts you’ve sent my way. Thank you.

I’ll see you on the other side. ❤